Life so iniquitous!

I know existence is disproportionate. Life is a charlatan. Everything is just so lopsided. Damn, I regret about a lot of things in my life. I regret of being so obtuse! For I always misconstrue three of the four corners in my heart, and five of the six corners in my brain.

People as well misinterpret every single move I do. For they are oblivious and negligent on asking me those why and how questions. They don't even bother asking me simple stuffs; some of them even ask me on its point's origin without even asking the diminutive details. They always screech on me on things fallacious! Damn existence, why can't I live the same life as the other young? So iniquitous!

Teenager so Immature

Teenager as I am, unstabled I may be. I know it's difficult to be perplexed. In many angles and corners, we tend to hesitate and try both things; for better or even for worse. Majority of us, explore and grab both good and bad opportunities. Of course, we can't predict if that certain promise is beneficial or debauched. Most common in all youth, is going into serious relationships. Don't you think the life of youngsters nowadays are balanced? Where in fact, some takes love too serious and some takes love just like a game. So tell me, what's the purpose of having solemn relationships where in fact, we're too young to engage in a liaison with individuals of different sex of ours? And on the other hand, why be in-love if your plan was just to play games? Can't you play your own entertainment without hurting the feelings of other people? Tell me, who are you to play with folks that has true compassion?

Well in my case, I ain't in both sides of complementary. I am about 40% serious and approximately 60% of taking my guy as a friend. I ain't actually saying that I am fooling around with him in all the months that we had passed through. What I am trying to articulate is that I treat him 60% of a best bud of mine; where as the 40% is genuinely, he is my boyfriend, indeed. Why is such percentage lopsided? Well, that is because I don't want to get hurt as much as EMO's do. And with such proportion, it's a very big advantage on both of our sides. Whenever, if ever, we'll broke-up-- we'll still remain as mild pals.

I was just wondering, is he even aware of all the things that I have done towards and for him? Most especially the sacrifices and love that I have given him? 'Cause you all know, nowadays, we continuously bicker each other. And our squabbles are somewhat, ugh? Everything's blamed on me. During those tremendous fights we infrequently talk about "breaking-ups." And for me everything is a waste! Because we've gone through 9 months and this is how we'll be ending it? Boohoo. What a trash! And just a few hours ago, we had another fight with a censored topic or reason. Damn dude, why is it always like this? And I can NEVER accept the incentive of such argument just because of "missing" each other. It's useless. Why harm each other just because of missing each other? Don't you think that's such a crap in my part?

Well, that's alright.

Words for consideration:
1.) Perplexed-confused
2.) Debauched-bad
3.) Liaison- relationship
4.) Complementary-balancing
5.) Articulate- say
6.) Lopsided-unbalanced
7.) Bicker-argue/fight
8.) Squabbles-argues/fights

Girls are not for Games

Girls are not suppose to be used for bets.

 

Wala lang mo kahibalo kung unsa kasakit ang gugma. Pero ug gihigugma jud nimo ang imong uyab, dapat jud ka mag-antos; antoson tanan, bahala'g ingnan naka'g OA ra kaayo ka. Antosi lang jud tanan kay naa'y adlaw nga ma-okey najud mo.

Wa lang ka kahibalo kung unsa kasakit ang akong gibati karon. Bahala na'g OA ra kaayo ko basta mao nana, mao jud na ako gibati karon. Tao sad intawn ko oy, naa ko'y kasingkasing, masakitan sad ko panagsa oy. Wa sad gane'y adlaw nga di ko masakitan. Pero di na pasabot na tanan kasakit sa ako dughan tungod nimo.

Tinuod, magselos, masuya, og magduda ko nimo sa uban pang babayi. Kay ngano man? Ikaw raman gud ang naa sa akuang kasingkasing, gilikayan nako tanan laki nga ni-agi sa akoang atubangan para lang nimo. Gilikayan naman sad gane nako ang mga amigo nako para lang nimo. Di unta ko ganahan magpalayo nila pero gi-sakripisyo jud nako tanan para nimo; bahala'g wa ko nimo ingni na magpalayo nila. Ngano gipangbuhat mana nako? Kay ug imo kong masakpan kuyog og lain lalaki, imo man ko dayun buwagan-- di ko nimo sturyaan. Mao mana imo gi-ingon nako. Di ba? Mao na, delikado kaayo nga magkuyog-kuyog ko'g lain lake kay basin buwagan ko nimo nga wa ko kahibalo unsai hinungdan.

Timan-e lang, dako kaayo ako pagsalig dira nimo nya nag-ampo intawn ko nga wala nimo gi-abuso ako pagsalig dira nimo. Kay ug mao gane nang butanga, gamiton lang ako pagsalig og dako, ambot brad oi, sakit jud kaayo sa kasingkasing-- magisi ako kasingkasing, maghilak, mamatay, ug uban pa.

Kahunahuna ba ka nga naa ba ko'y kasingkasing o wala? Intawn dong, naa ko'y kasingkasing oy! Bahala'g ukabon pani nimo ako lawas, gub-on ako ribs para makakita sa ako kasingkasing, basta naa jud ko'y kasingkasing brad.

Kahibalo ba ka kung unsa ko kalipay nga magkuyog tang duha? ug kabantay ba ka sa mga adlaw nga manglaag ta nya saputon ko? Saputon ko panagsa brad, tungod nasad sa kasuya kay ug magkuyog ta-- buy-an nimo akong kamot basta naa'y mga chix, kanang sexy og gwapa, kana gud mga babae nga PERFECT sa gawas? Sus, samtang ako batig nawng, tambok pajud. Sus, wa kai ma-ani nako. Utok og pangkasingkasing rani ako brad. Ingnan lang tika, lipay gihapon ko kay sigurado ko na ang mga babae na malabyan nato-- naa'y utok, wai kasingkasing or pwede rasad ang duha, wai utok og wai kasingkasing. Kagwapa rai gihuna-huna. Samtang ako? Sus, bright og disiplinado kaayo. Kahibalo ko mu-manage-- kahibalo ko kanus-a mag bata-bata, mag-mature, musaba, muhilom, og uban pa.

Lipay sad intawn ko ma batig nawng og tambok oi, at least lang ba ang positive nga naa sa akuang hunahuna kay "Dili ko magamit oi. Di ko panguyaban para ipanghambog sa mga amigo og para gamiton panglingaw-lingaw og pusta. Basta ako? Sus, tinud-aray na panghigugma lang ako brad."

We learn from you, you learn from us

A session for learning

I do have faith in and is aware that each existing individuals have different and various life styles, personality, behavior, skills, potentials, and many other stuffs in relation to such stuffs. But what I do not believe is that people can never redo themselves to change for the betterment. I sincerely apologize to people that I have hurt, both intentionally and accidentally.

You all just don't know how difficult it is for me to adjust with my family. I am exposed to the world earlier than you did, I suppose. Since I was out in the open world, I got used to socialize with strangers and friends better than to mingle with my family and relatives. I lived in an extended family. My mom is working abroad and just a year ago, my father have passed away. I'm fourteen years old and how can you be assured that I am mature enough to understand the things happening around me?

So, a stupid tragedy just happened today. We were called to our Guidance Counselor to have a session. Me, Phillip, Gellene, Clarice, and Crystel already have the idea in our mind why we were called. So yeah, shockingly, two of the mentioned names were in great trouble that they might be given some sort of a case with the mother of our classmate and their lawyer. And there is a possibility that I might be part of it but they're going to investigate first before I get included with the two.

Why were we called?

We were called because of our craps on facebook. It all started with "My Status," wherein everybody became part of it; commenting and replying to one another. And secondly,  the threatening words of the two who are in dilemma right now. My reaction, first of all, why would she think that she was the one we were talking about in my status? How dare she imagine and pessimistically thought of such thing! And secondly, if I was the mother, I would actually suggest or advice my child to confront the students who have a difficulty with her before we, as a family, would hire a lawyer to set-up a case to the students.

For us, of course, the new generation of beings, we think that it's a small and ordinary thing. Wherein, we can simple solve such catastrophe by the means of brazen out(deal with, tackle) with those whom abhor(dislike/hate) ourselves. Don't you think?

I as a learning apprentice, I should also ascertain and gain knowledge on how to be independent, confident, and true to thyself. And never hesitate in being with strangers; thus, we should be taught on how to comprehend and acknowledge one's difference and uniqueness as an individual.

Long-Distance Relationship

Young Love-- grabbed from Google Images

Love is no game, I tell you. If you feel that love is a game, then expect that you've hurt tons of girls or guys. Have you ever been into love? A love that needs full trust since one is away, far far away from you? That there will be lease communication of you both due to some critical conditions or what so ever?

I know being in a long-distance relationship's hard. Hard, right? Because you can never assure the behavior or any means of act of your boyfriend/girlfriend in that certain place or area. He or she can easily fool you, pretend, and even cheat on you. What's the solution for this situation?

Trust, I tell you. Believe me, trust really helps.

Q: Trust? Then, how can I assure that he or she is not abusing my trust for him or her?

A: Then you should trust harder. If ever he or she already did cheated on you, leave him or her alone. There are still tons of boys and girls intended for you. "Huwag kang umasa sa isang tao lamang!"

We're still very young. I know, right? lol, but I know nobody is too young nor too old to love because if you're going to tell me that I am too young or even too old to love, then I say I am too young or too old to be loved. Painful it is, isn't it?

I tell you, sweetheart. It's better to be cheated with your eyes closed rather than to be cheated with your eyes open. Meaning, it's better to be cheated when you can't even see it rather than be cheated by him or her just in front of you, or even in just a distance.

My advice or suggestion? Com'on! Value your friends more than any person that you consider very very important, or even special. When you're having a relationship, don't take it too serious. There must be a part of it that you consider your boyfriend or girlfriend JUST a friend. Why? Because when you have taken such relationship seriously, when you break-up, I tell and can assure you, you'll easily get affected and hurt. Therefore, you'll become over-reactant. Can't you see? Your friends are always there for you, in times of lows and highs. Why seek for a guy or lady for you to get into a relationship? Aren't you contented of your friends?

Poor friends of yours if you don't value them as much as you have valued your aims or goal to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Trust me, Believe me, I've been there. But although I have gone through there, you might have just noticed that I have a boyfriend right now, at present, am I correct? True, I have a boyfriend as of now. But I can never assure myself if we both are really meant to be. As what people have told you, expect the unexpected. So as a girlfriend of his, I must be ready of any circumstances or obstacles that we both might encounter. But I seriously can assure you all that I have sacrificed, and did my best to reach this short or even long-term relationship of ours.

But as a friend, an adviser, or even a stranger to you, my only advice is to value your friends. Okey? But if you prefer to take and barge-in into relationships, you may. Just remember not to take it too serious. Alright? Have some percentage or space to consider your boyfriend or girlfriend, just an ordinary friend.

Ain't it too funny that this blog is so long entitled in "Long-Distance Relationship" and only the first part of it was about Long-Distance Relationship? haha, Nah! Just bare with it. I am just encountering anxiety where to begin, where to start, how to start, how to end such blog with the title of Long-Distance Relationship. This is just some sort of a request from a friend of mine, in the name of Charisse *censored* Oops! I guess she don't wanna place her full name? Okay okay, I'm gonna tell you. Charisse Ambalong is her name. Thank her, not me. If it would be for her, I wouldn't have made such blog about *boohoo* love.

Oh Mister, I hope we'll meet again

 

What a perfect day! Although I was super tired and stressed from school, a few people have dispersed all problems circulating my mind over and over again. Shockingly, a taxi driver who drove us safe home was part of it. And I really thank him for making my day more than a perfect day.

Class was over and we directly went home. Before going out the school premises, I was with Lorenz, Phillip, Janna, Dio, and Martie, a few of my trusted and cool pals. I don't really like letting my grandfather fetch me in school. Why? Because he might piss my day off and he might be tired and I might be a burden to his pain. So yeah, I prefer going home with Martie and his cousin Kaloy. So, before we got a taxi, we took snacks. Specifically, kwek-kwek and coke for me. While for Martie and Dio, kwek-kwek and Fish balls, together with their drinks. So when we're all ready set to go home, we called Kaloy and got our backpacks. We took a taxi.

Yipee! We got a taxi so fast; a new record for us. haha! So, while we were in the taxi, I was doing, stating, or whatever you call that, story telling to Martie. I was unaware that the taxi driver was caught by my story. So, my story went this way.

"Maglagot jud ko anang mga tao na magsige og Discriminate oy! Sige jud og discriminate! Mura baya'g unsa na sila ka-dato, ka-perpekto, ka-ambot jud nya magdiscriminate pajud! Have they gone insane? Lost their respect of the people's dignities as human beings like us too? Damn it! Maglagot jud ko anang mga tao na magsige og Discriminate! Unsa man diay naa anang ma-uyab nako pobre? Ha? Unsa man jud di sakto ana? Kailangan diay dato og gwapo atoang ma-uyab? Sus! Ambot lang jud oy! Maka-lagot. Over najud, sobra na kaayo. Makaguba jud sa akoang adlaw kanang mga tao na magsige og discriminate na wala'y tan-aw tan-aw sa ilahang kaugalingon na unsa na sila ka imperpekto na pagkataw! Kaklaro uroy na pareparehas rata tanan! Sus." (I was very pissed, shouting and yelling inside the taxi. This is just somewhat a summary of what I was yelling inside the taxi. It was too long, part of it was the discrimination of *censored* to my friends. And the super big difference of me and my family.)

Then suddenly, when we were about to turn right, I saw the driver's eyes in the mirror, it was glancing and I have no idea what it meant at first. Then, I continued my story-telling again about the stuffs I was feeling deep within me; how I was really pissed of people that are fun of discriminating and comparing themselves to people lease than them, portraying that they are in the top most part of the world-- racists, gosh! I so hate them.

While the story was continuing, I mentioned again "Ngano man diay kung pobre akuang ma-uyab?" Then, the taxi driver added "Mao jud! Sakto jud kaayo ka." Then, he told us a part of his love life. He as well mentioned that he was a little bit rich and his girlfriend was somewhat less fortunate than he is. Then his girlfriend asked him why he chose her and again, he explained to us why by saying "Unsa paman diay atoang makuha ug dato nata daan nya manguyab pajud ta'g dato? Ug papilion ko'g dato ba or pobre, nya dato nako daan, sa pobre jud ko. Kay wa naman ta'y lain makuha ug dato nata nya dato pajud atoang mauyab. May nalang gane pobre atoang mauyab para maka-tabang ta. Unsaon man tana ang kwarta sa kinabuhi oy?  Bahala'g pobre basta wala'y bisyo kaysa dato nya daghan bisyo, chix, og saway-sawayon lang ka. Nya ug pobre atoang ma-uyab, di unta ta magkabalaka kay ang kwarta makuha raman na sa atoang pagtinarong sa kinabuhi. Diba?" Then, we said "Mao jud kuya. Maka-irit jud nang ingnan ta na mangita og lain uyab oy kay pobre ra kaayo para sa ako/amo."

So then, we reached Martie's house and it ended-up with a smile on each face. We had fun and we were very happy being with a comfortable and approachable driver. Then he said "Ug mangita mo'g driver, ingni nya ko ha?" We all were in a rush so it was a very big mistake in our part failing to ask his real or even full name. Damn! So yeah, we learned a lot on our sharing of life stories, specifically Love life.

Learnings for today:
"Set aside every distraction and continue your life with no interruption."
"When love comes in your way, you must learn how to stay still and do self-sacrifice in any means."
"Whether rich or poor, love them as if they are not strangers."
"Don't be anxious or even be agitated when love is in you. Believe in thyself."
"Let love be your inspiration to continue a smooth joyride on your voyage"

Happy 9th Monthsary Dadee :*

Whatever happens, I'll always be here for you.

Ordinary days became so special when you came. I met you when I was so young, I was 9 or 10 years young and now, I am 14 years old. Everything started so surprising! Unexpectedly, it became us. I was young back then, trying to avoid strangers like you. Just as what is commanded by my parents to me to be safe and well-guided. All of a sudden, October 31, 2009, on the Night of the Halloween, you drank some sort of a liquor. And I was unaware whether you were drunk or about to get drunk. Until now, I am wondering--- on that night, there were 4 of you boys on the bench, but why you? Why of all the 4 guys, you were the one whom I talked to? And there it began, you asked for my number using my neighbor's phone. Since you have no phone, you borrowed several phones at different days just to communicate with me. Sour days became sweet because of you. Every time I watch you play Soccer until you and your friends are done, I am always amazed how life can be. There, every single day, after your practice, when I go home, you always bring me safe; you as well make me laugh, with your sweet voice saying "Magic words, Magic words," or in another saying, asking me to say "I love you." You always make me complete.

I broke a promise for you. I promised my so-called-brother that I will not have any boyfriend for 6 months. It was still on the 3rd month-- and I told my brother "I'm sorry. I just can't stand no more. I need a best friend." Then fortunately, he approved. Then, on December 14th, early morning we argued. Remember? We were preparing ourselves to go to Family Park together with my friends, since you were as well invited by Janna, my best pal. Then, I just forgot what happened, we just argued. It was so embarrassing that I asked you to stay outside because I was too shy, less confident, wearing swimsuit, two-piece, in front of you. But when we were finish, I asked you to stay beside me. And talked over about some things. I told you "Baliha or Ipa-higda ang Number 8." That seriously means "Oo," or "Yes." Then, it became us. We went to the zoo thing in Family Park, I kept on fooling you, moving near and far you. Unexpectedly, you kissed me. Then my other best bud saw us saying and fooling around saying "Pwede slow-motion?" haha, that was so incredible! Then, we went home at 7:30pm. What a shock!

Dearest, I hope you'll keep your promises same as I have kept mine for you. Thank you for the times you help me stand-still every time there are circumstances with regards to my family and friends. I do thank you for making me a stronger lady, wherein I am becoming aware of the things happening, making the right decisions on my own, and even standing on what I believe on and for. I sincerely apologize that there are times I become too sensitive, over-reactant, and a jealous girlfriend. I just can't stand the pain and jealousy on you with other girls. I trust you, believe me. Sorry as well for the times that I accuse and blame you for things that you are innocent on, things that you're unfamiliar with, things that you shouldn't be the blame. Always remember that I love you. I have sacrificed a lot for you. I have respected and defended your dignity and your family's life. People may have discriminated you but mind you, it's not only you who is hurt but also me. Too much burden is planted in my life due to the discrimination of other people on you and your family. But, I am here to stand for you and your family. Don't worry about a thing. I know we're still young, kids I may say. And we both are not sure that we would last long 'til our day of marriage or death but we must also do our part, and do our best to make things work and stay happily together until the day our life would last. I love you. -Ashley

Your Child, Ashley

Little Girl

That's no longer my problem. You educated me in a Private Catholic Institution that made me a sensitive girl. Therefore, I am aware of the realities happening in our society today. Why do you have to discriminate people, most especially those who are clearly seen suffering from poverty? Are you not aware that we are all equal to each other? Have you lost your respect for their dignities as individuals made by God? Racists are you people! I don't even think or even feel that I am part of your roots. You always pray yet you discriminate. Have you not prayed for yourself to be healed? Healed from your stupidity of discriminating people equal to yourselves. Am I really a part of the tree? Why am I not like you? I love them so much and I made friends to them. They're strangers but I give trust on them. But every time they try to fool me, I am too clever for them to pass through my 10(ten) feet wall. I loss my trust from you but haven't you ever recall how many times I tried to gain my trust back? You even dared to accuse me of so many things happening in our world, our lives. I'm innocent, I tell you. No matter how you accuse me, I am innocent, I really am.

Have you not seen the tears? The tears falling from my dearly eyes? Have you not even know how many pounds of burden you have rooted in my life? And haven't you ever wondered that despite of all the burdens you have stored in my life, I am still standing so still? I am standing still because of my friends and inspirations in life; and you people are not part of it. I've done so many deeds yet never felt your appreciation. I know you have appreciated tons of things that I have extravagantly done but still, never did I felt such appreciation. Why? Because the burden you have planted in my life is too deep for your hands to capture and cease my heart for attention.

Have you not wondered why I longed to be alone? Have you not felt the kilo-metered-distance among us though we're just sat side by side? Or even thought of the things you've mistakenly done to me? You know what is wrong with me but still never did I felt the courage and strength of your hard work to reach the far-away-Ashley, your child.

Could this be really L. O. V. E. ?

In the taxi with Kriztian Mayol. 9/10/10

It's just so funny how people say we both look cute with each other.

And say how fortunate we both are being in the company of one another.

We started anonymously. We have no rational or even a fact why

" me + you = us in love "

It's pretty awkward too that our love begun last Halloween '09.

Our monthsary is on the 14th of every month.

We're turning on our 9th month this September.

I feel so, this is really love. *wink

Thanks Kriztian for taking this picture. (:

Thanks Asshly! You're the best. Thanks for taking this picture for us.

Big Brothers was First in my Wishlist

Don't you think I'm a little bit crazy? I'm the youngest child in our family. I have one sibling, an older sister. And I wish that I have an older brother/s. Well, there's a difference of hoping(hope/s) and wishing(wish/es), I know. Gawwd! I hope I have older brothers. You know what? My family hates me for having lotsa guy friends. They don't even trust me having them as my friends. What they don't know is that, I'm a lot more comfortable being with older guys than girls my age or older than me. They always force me to have girlfriends. But heyy! I'm contented of my friends that are females, why seek for more? I have tons of guy friends and I am happy being with them. Don't you think it's possible for my mom to adopt a kid/guy older (ranging from ages 16-23 years old) than my sister? Thus, making him my brother? Boohoo, I badly want a brother yo! I'm very jealous of girls having older brothers. How I just wish to have a brother just like they do. *tears

PICTURE/S OF ME AND MY GUY FRIENDS (They're NOT GAY, alright?)

Me and Chad Alsay

Me and Philip Po

Me and Cyro Fua

 

 

 

 

Jose Panonce, Me, and Juno